Wednesday, April 22, 2009

If you want to be rich like me, do the things I do

Here's your chance to get in on something big. You should know by now the people who hit it big in Amway, Shaklee, and the other MLM's are the ones that got in early.
I want to set up Multi Level Marketing company called 'Greenway'. We are going to sell carbon offsets.
Here's how it works. For a small buy-in, you can use the business name and attend fabulous seminars. You get to work from home and do all the work online. Your market is easy----if you can list twelve people that don't realize Al Gore is a liar and a crook, you've already met your first quota, and earned your 'green belt' by signing them up. If just half of THEM sign up 12 people who buy in, you only have to forward 75% of that buy get to keep 25%. At that point you become a certified "Green Warrior" (I'll send the certificate myself. It will be etched in naturally sloughed birchbark and delivered by zero impact hitchhikers)
Isn't this just a pyramid scheme? NO!!! You'll be selling a real thing people are very in need of--peace of mind. Media has made everybody feel really bad about their carbon footprint. Here's a way for the little guy to shed the guilt by purchasing carbon offsets. They get a bumper sticker too. There's a bunny on it, by the way.
The bumper stickers will be made of 100% post consumer recycled waste with adhesive from sustainable rubber trees, harvested by third world starving animists.
Here's where the offset comes in. We will be publishing 3 color graphs that show Amway's carbon footprint from packaging, shipping, posters, and reams of paper used administratively. "Greenway" will be completely digital; in fact, you must take an oath not to print out anything. Flashdrives are acceptable. Our graphics will show the HUGE carbon savings "Greenway" offers as an MLM when compared with "Amway". As the company grows, so grows the carbon savings. We'll be making a case for the carbon footprint for a $20 bill (eight tons of polar bear killing CO2) and we'll guarantee that when those bills work their way to the top, we'll have methods to dispose of the cash appropriately.


Lee said...

I think your onto something.

Jeff said...

Count me in.

- Rob said...

I would like to get in early on this one, but I think that Al Gore beat you to this scam, uh, I mean scheme of doing business.

Very well laid out process though - thanks for sharing! I especially like your method of generating the carbon credits.

Scot said...

Oh, this is great!