Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Labyrinth

A guy set up a business breeding rats. His plan was to build a bunch of mazes and researchers could pay to see his rats run through the mazes. Demand was pretty high so it was a good plan.
He put the rats in the mazes but they just sort of sat there, sniffing around a little.
A researcher, experienced in such things, recommended keeping the rats a little hungry, and putting some cheese at the far end of the maze. That did the trick---once the cheese was there, a few of the rats figured out if they ran the maze, they got some cheese. The researchers paid well to watch this, so the guy bought more cheese.
Not all the rats would run the maze; some felt it was beneath them. Some felt forced by the man and rebelled. Others made excuses for not maze-running....The maze wasn't designed for rats with their fur color, or, as young rats they'd seen siblings eaten by their parents, and so on. The ones that did run the maze had cheese to spare, and save some of it. They even shared some of it with the other rats. The business owner tried to explain that if every rat ran a maze, the researchers would pay enough that there would be lots of cheese, even fancy cheese, for every one.
The non-maze running rats felt the sharing was done unfairly and complained. They decided to vote on it, each rat having one vote. Since the non maze runners outnumbered the others, they voted the cheese equally distributed. Their banners at their rat rallies showed a cheese wheel, and how the cheese was divided unfairly. Many of the maze running rats realized they got the same amount of cheese either way so stopped running the mazes; after all, the non's were getting to breed more anyway.
Soon, very few rats would run the maze. There wasn't enough cheese to go around, so they voted the runners should work harder. When the runners dropped dead the researchers all went away and the business failed. As the rats starved, they continued to vote themselves bigger cheese allotments, with stronger and stronger entitlement rhetoric but without any talent for production it was futile.

10 comments:

Lee said...

Your posting is very miceist...

- Rob said...

Nice story. Naturally that sort of thing would never happen with humans since we are so much smarter than mice (now I am being miceist too)!

Besides, the government will bail us out if we really get into trouble. Haven't you heard of all of the government cheese that they have stored?

Tina said...

You know, Rob, I can almost see your face smiling as you typed that comment...

:P

princess slea said...

yeaaa for government cheese. i hear it will go great with my Budweiser that I bought with my Link card at the liquor store.

flyingvan said...

1)They weren't mice. They were democRATS.

2)It was free market cheese, provided by hard working, non government subsidized dairy farmers in exchange for cash. (The dairy farmers were negatively impacted by the loss of business due to lazy rats too, BTW)

3) I, too, am fond of government cheese, and believe if the government focused 95% of their efforts towards cheese production, our nation would be better off.

Chimp Jones said...

Yeah .. that's so funny because everyone that uses a link card is obviously a scumbag..I see what you did there....
I have a friend that is on Link because he needs to be.. the job he has doesn't pay enough to support him and his kids.. he works hard.. but haha.. he's a scumbag because he eats cheese from the govt.. yeah.. socialists.. they are bad.

flyingvan said...

No idea what a 'link card' is, but I think I could guess. Actually, Chimp, one of the few things I think Clinton got right was keeping some benefits for entry level workers. People would lose their benefits if they started working, and their standard of living would go down, not up. That's not right, and it's a poor incentive to get off welfare

Lee said...

Chimp,

The more accurate scumbag would be Polly. She lives in government housing, she works just enough for Unemployment to kick in, then goes back on Welfare.

She uses foodstamps (link card) for fast food. She also gets free food handouts from various agencies and throws it out later when it goes rotton.

And she complains about having to work, she complains about her food stamps not working at more fast food places, she complains that the government is not doing more then feeding her, clothing her and paying for her ER trips.

Your hard working friend trying to better himself? I got no problem with him. He will get off link at some point and provide a better life for his kids.

Unless of course, the government becomes socialist...

princess slea said...

ask amy at Exit 197 (local liquor store and bar) about the very high percentage of people who ask if she takes the Link Card. a guy even approached her about "upgrading" her ATM machine to accept the Link card (AT A LIQUOR STORE).
You know ONE person who is getting Government assistance that is genuinely in need and actively trying to better himself (and i'm guessing actually uses the card to purchase things like milk and bread), I can name a dozen for every ONE you come up with who are scumbags and who are abusing the system.
i've met people who have actually MOVED here because the welfare program is so good and they brag about it (guess where i met them...yep, the BAR).

I am all about helping people, I donate a percentage EACH month from sales of my product (right now sales from Hemp Hand protector are going to a food pantry in New York for example), so this is NOT about me hating the poor or being selfish. I TRULY believe that welfare is not helping people, it's damaging to our society and to the children who are being bred into that lifestyle. When people start calling around to find out what county/state has the best welfare plan so they can plan where to move, then the system is seriously flawed.

chimp, you just hang out in your basement with the elite of pontiac :)

Lee said...

Oh did I mention that Polly was a certified RN? It lapsed, or was revoked.